Ache
by KairiMisty
Summary: 'There was nobody who knew this, who knew that the girl who was always 'full of smiles' was being ripped apart inside, dark thoughts clouded her mind.'


Disclaimer; I do not own any of these characters.

This is a little depressing, but I hope it's good.

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><p>Waking up, a startled seventeen year old young woman glanced frantically across the darkness of her boudoir; sweat beads forming on her porcelain skin making it glisten in the moonlight. Glimpsing down at her attire she found herself in a tight fitting cotton tank top with matching frilly shorts, each a deep maroon somewhat matching her ruby tresses.<p>

The curtains were not drawn leaving a perfect view of the glowing illumination the silver moon cast upon the island and each star twinkling making it almost impossible to defeat a trance. The soothing sounds of the waves gently crashing against the shore lulled most residents into a deep sleep.

Lifting up a shaking hand the girl buried her face and sighed heavily as the ache in her heart was so painful, every minute she had to endure it she felt as though tears were about to explode any second. The loneliness was killing her, sure she had plenty of friends, but they weren't _him._

Chest tightening and fingernails digging into her palms from clenched fists she fought against the unpleasant yet familiar feeling. Anything could set of the ache in her heart to excruciating pain, whether it was somebody's remark, a comment that had been read or the most common one; a dream.

Kairi Lockhart was often awakened with these dreams; it wasn't as if they were nightmares, in fact they were quite the opposite they were really lovely. But they bought reality crashing down when she woke up and it was often in the middle of the night where she would spend the rest crying herself back into the slumber in which she wished her life could be.

She suffered with depression from when she was around thirteen years of age, nobody knew how somebody so young could experience such a horrible state of mind but it was in fact proven. Her parents; Cloud and Tifa had taken her to a therapist when she was younger where she had to undergo counselling, but that was quite a few years back and completely irrelevant.

Kairi had always had a low self esteem, she had been told thousands of times before that she was beautiful and talented but the words never seemed to sink in, the words in which bullies had called her stuck though, stupid, you'd never achieve anything, pathetic, ugly.

The red head was too nice for her own good which made her an easy target to be picked on, she had an amazing group of friends who stuck up for her but even they would tease her every now and again about her grades and her shyness. She found school difficult, she was more of a creative and active kind of girl, which meant Maths and English usually went right over the top of her head and she struggled to no end. She was kept back in a few classes trying to achieve the right grades but it just helped her become more frustrated in herself.

Remembering the memories she felt the all too proverbial stinging in her eyes. Blinking, the hot liquid spilled down her cheeks and collected to her chin where they dropped off onto her shivering bear arms, how she wished he was there behind her cradling her in his own strong limbs to warm up the chill spreading throughout her body.

She had done things in the past, some things she'd live to regret and some things she wish she had followed through. She used to self harm thinking it would take some of the pain away or draw disturbing pictures to let out her feelings, or even write love stories to quell the hurt.

There was nobody who knew this, who knew that the girl who was always 'full of smiles' was being ripped apart inside, dark thoughts clouded her mind. But for the sake of everyone and especially her parents she put on a brave face, a mask of a make believe perfect girl.

She felt embarrassed with herself, the fact she was seventeen and hadn't even had her first proper kiss while all of her friends were already intimate and happy with their other halves. The fact that she couldn't get her head around school and how she found it so incredibly difficult. Or the fact the she missed her two best friends and one of them in particular.

Sora Hikari, the guy Kairi idolized, he was one year older than her and her best friend in the whole world, she was undoubtedly in love with him and she had been told countless times that he liked her but she felt as though she needed to hear it from his mouth for it to be considered truth. The only problem; he was in other worlds trying to defeat the heartless, again.

Looking towards her clock she found that the time was only 3:14am, only a few more hours until she would have to put on the fake facade she lived through until she could dive back into the sanctuary of her bed when the day was over and remove all of the wrapping she covered herself with for everyday life. She could come back to bed and cry her little heart out and beg for Sora to feel the same way for her as she did for him.

She often thought about how nobody could ever love her, how she'd grow up alone, never experience love; both physical and mental. What if she would never have that wedding day most girls dream of? All she saw on TV and the computer were couples it was like her brain pointed them out to her in spite at the fact that she couldn't be happy in the slightest. That she'd just have to dream. Look but don't touch.

Kairi yearned for him, he had promised he would come and visit her that day but he never came. Waiting on the beach for hours she ached just to see the sight of him, she knew he had other worlds to save and she was being slightly selfish towards the fact she wanted him all to herself, but she hadn't seen him in almost a year and it was killing her slowly.

But just as predicted he never came and now as she sat in her bed in her maroon pyjamas with tears streaming down her face she knew that it was just another normal day in her miserable life. She had played out scenarios in her head for when she would have seen him that day the previous evening, she had an inch of excitement in her fantasizing of what would happen, but that is what they all were; fantasies. Locked in her head which felt like a prison she would not be escaping anytime soon, so she curled back up into a ball and cried.

Crying usually stopped the ache, if only for a few hours.

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><p>Review.<p> 


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